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Ms. Vampy
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Ms. Vampy is
America's funniest, sexiest, sassiest and most high maintenance
vampire! Her personality is as big as her hair and is often
described as Betty Boop meets Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. She
loves pleather and fur and wouldn't be caught "dead" without high
heels! But, there's much more to this loveable vampiress.
While she
looks young and vibrant, Ms. Vampy is one of the oldest gals on
earth. At 110-years-old, she was born in 1899 in Transylvania. She
was a shy and innocent child, but after a few too many shots of
Lauders Scotch Whisky on her 18th birthday, she jumped on the bike
of a tattooed mate and sealed her fate! Moments after being bitten,
she grew wildly thick hair, fangs, plump lips, bodacious tatas, and an
insatiable sex drive. As she puts it, "I went from being a brainy
bookworm to a blood-loving, vampire sexpot in just minutes."
In the 1920s, Ms.
Vampy's travels took her to New York and she fell in love with
Brooklyn. It was there where she developed her attitude, sarcastic
sense of humor, and ridiculous accent. She spent most of her time in
the Big Apple filming movies and seeing Broadway shows, but she has
a secret many don't know... Ms. Vampy went crazy for Philadelphia
Eagles football and soon became an assistant coach, but was fired
after one month for not showing up to any day games. She moved back
to New York for a short time, but a torrid love affair with a very
jealous and young Wall Street vampire went bad, so she headed west
to seek out new friends and victims. These days, Ms. Vampy lives in
her Hollywood Villa and is often seen on night shoots, shopping in
Beverly Hills for Dior or hanging out at Lakers' games with her
horror friends. She loves 80s rock and disco, her favorite band is
Vampire Weekend and she never misses American Idol or Millionaire
Matchmaker on TV. Her secret dream is to join the cast of HBO's True
Blood (of course, she thinks it's a "reality" show)! She enjoys Godiva
Chocolates and Bloody Marys and she loves to play Xbox when she's
feeling feisty. While she has yet to marry or have children, she
freely admits to being boy crazy and hopes to someday make-out with
Robert Pattinson.
Ms. Vampy is forever sexy, funny, young, and obnoxious, but her
heart is as big as her mouth. If she ever bites you, it'll be with
love.
Editor, Vampity Fair
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msvampy.net |
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